Happiness is one of the most valuable traits we wish to possess — but why are some of us not happy?
I used to be (actually, still am at times) a very anxious person, and when my mind is clouded by doubt and fear, I’m no longer at peace. My peers and I are a month into our year-long, intensive program in PR and Marketing, and have many other responsibilities that we’re trying to juggle (such as working, caring for family, and volunteering). For me, it’s getting to a point where my strength and patience are being tested.
My classmate posted five great ways to manage stress that surely come in handy, and along with managing stress, I also feel the need to care for my mental and spiritual being.
I love to watch Soul Pancake’s ‘The Science of Happiness’ series because it really tugs on the heart. It shows how adopting different aspects of life (like forgiveness, kindness, gratitude and positivity) influence our happiness.
A life of happiness is a one full of meaning and purpose. Being the anxious person that I was, and not happy with where my life was going, I turned to these points:
1) Ask important questions.
Learn to understand you! If we want change in our lives, how can we know where to go if we don’t know where we are?
Who am I? What/Who do I love? What motivates me? What is important to me? Why do I do the things I do? Why am I concerned with certain things? Find the meaning behind your actions.
2) Reflect. Reflect. Reflect.
I don’t journal as often as I should, but it’s a great way to help you reflect on your day/week or on certain aspects of your life. It’s also a great way to document your personal journey. Often times, when I’ve felt discouraged, I’d look back on past journal entries to remind me that progress is slow, but still happening.
3) Be thankful.
When we appreciate our surroundings and the people that touch our lives, our attitudes change dramatically. Be thankful for what you have, and don’t be fixated on what you don’t have.
4) Think positively.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional”.
― Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running
Dr. Darryl Cross illustrates how to eliminate negative self-talk if we change our thinking. We will always experience external and internal triggers (whether good or bad) that transcends into how we think about that particular trigger. If our thoughts are positive, our mood/emotions will reflect those positive thoughts, which in turn influences our actions. If our thoughts are negative, our moods and actions will reflect a different outcome.
5) Learn to let go.
Trust. Most of us tend to want control of our situations because we dislike uncertainty, but we can’t control everything. Strength draws from accepting uncertainty and understanding that we don’t have the power to control every situation.
6) Do not be afraid.
“Take chance, make mistakes, get messy!”
— The Magic Schoolbus
It’s okay to make mistakes; perseverance is key. The point is to learn from our wrongdoings, in hopes of not repeating the same mistakes.
You are capable of much more than you think you are, and when you realize this, your challenges become less and less of a nuisance. You put value into someone’s life, whether you think you do or not.
7) Be in the present.
It’s important to reflect on your past, but not live in it. It’s also important to think about your future, but don’t let it control and define every moment you have now. There’s beauty all around us that we sometimes fail to notice because we’re so busy moving — we forget to just stop and savour the moment. Being in the stillness of the moment is one of the best remedies for a troubled soul.
8) Surround yourself with like-minded people.
The world can pull us in so many different directions, and when you’re trying to go a certain way, it’s helpful to have a support system of people with the same thinking as you to keep you on your path.
We weren’t created to be alone, and we can help each other in many ways. You and I are different, and when when bring those differences together, we can achieve great things!
9) Give.
Don’t focus your attention on material wealth — your possessions don’t define you. Spreading love is one of the greatest gifts we can ever give. There will always be someone in need of help, and we can give in so many ways. Giving someone your time is truly an act of love.
“Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go.”
— Blessed Mother Teresa
10) You are your best you.
Self-worth is important. Realizing who you are, and who you were created to be is one of the best epiphanies anyone can ever experience. Be truthful to yourself. If you constantly compare yourself to other people, where does that leave you? They are not you — you are you. Learn to understand and appreciate your person.
“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
― Kathryn Stockett, The Help
Life should be simple, and I hope some of these points help you as much as they’ve helped me.
Do you have any to add? What do you think of these points? I’m interested in hearing your thoughts and what helped you!
Mercy-Anne Guevarra 